I hadn't realized how heavy the darkness was until it was gone. My clothing fit the same way it always had, and yet I felt a 100 pounds lighter. I felt like I was floating now rather than sinking. What a wonderful feeling it was! I remember taking each step forward with such pride, because for the first time in a long time I was leading myself. This time my life was my own to create. I was given this brand new white canvas that I could colour anyway I wanted, and boy was I excited. Having the freedom to choose was something I had deprived myself of for far too long. Now that the door was open again I was going to take every opportunity I could to walk through it. And I did.
My journey has been a long one, and while it has changed and grown for the better, it still contains moments of darkness. However I am now able to identify these moments and see them for what they are. Just moments. I take every opportunity to remind myself of the goodness that resides in my life and that I am the one responsible for that. As long as I feel good about my choices, I feel good about me.
I remember not too long ago uttering these words "there but for the GRACE of God go I". And somehow despite all the darkness and fear that had followed me in, I found my way out.